aries: fearless as hell
taurus: reliable as hell
gemini: talkative as hell
cancer: dependable as hell
leo: powerful as hell
virgo: smart as hell
libra: friendly as hell
scorpio: strong as hell
sagittarius: real as hell
capricorn: loyal as hell
aquarius: weird as hell
pisces: nice as hell
I laminated a paper towel
why does this have 31 thousand notes
You made it useless but also prevented it from the end it was predestined for.
But wait this is actually freaking me out though, it raises so many questions about the otherwise incomprehensible meaning of life as a collective whole versus personal sustenance and longevity
Imagine if one day you were given a choice: Become immortal and indestructible for eternity, unable to be harmed by anything ever again, and get to live forever.
However, in order to achieve that you must give up whatever your purpose in life is. Whatever it is that you were always meant to do, what you were supposed to contribute to the overall scheme and future of the life of the universe, your purpose… the whole reason you were even created, even born in the first place. You must give that up. You don’t know what that is. You’ll never know; But, regardless, you say yes.
Perhaps you assume you wouldn’t have made any sort of significant difference anyway. That butterfly effect theory or whatever they call it? Nah, you call bullshit. It doesn’t matter - you don’t matter, at least not to anything outside of your immediate connections - and it’ll all be fine, and you’ll just live forever with minimal (or maybe even no) consequences.
So, yay! You’re now immortal. You’ll never die or get hurt ever again. Wee!
But then, centuries and centuries later (not to mention that by this point you’ve gone through horrible heartbreak and misery and despair because every loved one you ever had, every friend you ever made, ever person you barely got to know, has passed away, died as you lived on long without them, helpless to do anything for them as you watched them perish, unable to ever go with them or ever see them again. But I digress), now, you learn you actually were important in the grand scheme of things. You were supposed to be a key factor in the world’s survival, long ago; but, because of the choice you made (immortality over individual purpose), you were never given the knowledge or awareness or resources or ability to save the world that you were always supposed to obtain, before you unknowingly made the wrongest choice to ever wrong.
Needless to say, you’ve fucked up big time.
The entire universe as we know it is destroyed soon after this horrifying revelation. It implodes, collapses in on itself, essentially forming a massive black hole or something. Stars, nebulae, galaxies, solar systems and planets, worlds and worlds of living people and things, and light-years of time and space and life, all sucked up into absolute, indefinite nothingness.
But you remain.
Just you. Floating amongst, spiraling around, rocketing through, suspended in… nothing. With a feeling of such unbelievable loneliness that your feeble brain can hardly perceive, can’t possibly hope to comprehend. Not only are you the only living thing left, you don’t even have one inanimate object to keep you company. You have literally. Nothing. And you are literally nowhere. I mean, technically, you are now the universe - if it would bring you petty comfort to think about it that way. You. Only you. With nothing, no one, nowhere. Forever. And ever. And ever.
All because you thought you didn’t matter. That you had no real, meaningful purpose. That you could never possibly make a difference.
But you did. And now look what you’ve gotten yourself into, you silly nugget. You’re gonna be pretty bored and lonely for that eternity, huh?
Or maybe it was out of selfishness. Maybe this wasn’t because you felt useless, but because you simply only cared about prolonging your own life and nothing else. Hm.
The moral here? Be selfless, and always know and remember that you matter.
Or else, one day, you might destroy the universe. And be left to suffer, and be tortured horribly and endlessly by the void of nothingness that has consumed you. With no way to escape. Ever.
Other moral because I got sidetracked from my initial point - all things considered, would you choose longevity over purpose? Immortality over meaning?
OR, IDK, MAYBE SOME IDIOT JUST LAMINATED A STUPID PIECE OF PAPER TOWEL FOR NO GOOD REASON
AND MAYBE I SHOULDNT BE LOOKING FOR THE ANSWERS TO THE MEANING OF OUR SHORT, FRAGILE LIVES IN
T OW E L
I D K
Write. A. Book.
What if I did write a book
and the pages of that book
were made out of
This fucking website has me thinking about the significance of my life compared to seemingly insignificant household items. I hate this place.
No Sven, we're not going back. She's with her true love.Best One Yet
I love these transitional gifs
A son went into a rarely-used bedroom in his mother’s home and discovered thousands of wasps had made a giant nest in a bed. An estimated 5,000 wasps had created a nest by chewing through bedding, including a blanket and pillow. Pest-control expert John Birkett was called to tackle with the mound of wasps inside the mattress at the five-bedroom home in Winchester, Hampshire.
where do grandmas and aunties even buy this shit? It’s not in stores???do they have a dealer who sells to them????
NEED SIX POINT SIX POUNDS OF SOUR RAINBOW BELTS???
ALL FOR UNDER FIFTY FUCKING DOLLARS!!!! BUT HOW ARE WE GOING TO WASH ALL OF THEM DOWN? THERE OBVIOUSLY ISNT ENOUGH SUGAR IN THESE BELTS SO LETS WASH THEM DOWN WITH THIS:
THATS RIGHT, MOTHERFUCKER! THIRTY TWO GODDAMMED OUNCES OF SWEET, SWEET POWDERED STRAWBERRY FLAVOR!!! BUT LET’S NOT GET CARRIED AWAY WITH ALL THIS BECASUE WE’RE GOING TO GRANDMAS, WE’D BETTER GET SOME SHIT FOR HER. AND WHAT BETTER THING TO GET FOR HER THAN SOME SUGAR DADDIES???
THATS RIGHT, THATS 24 SUGAR DADDIES FOR GRAM GRAM. BUT, UH-OH!! LOOKS LIKE WE SPILLED UNCLE H’S BLUE ROCK CANDY ALL OVER THE PLACE!!! WHERE ELSE CAN WE GET 5 POUNDS OF PURE BLUE ROCK CANDY??? RIGHT FUCKING HERE!!!
THIS FUCKING WEBSITE IS SO FUCKING SWEET, IT GIVES YOU DIABETUS JUST BY LOOKING AT IT. NOW DO YOURSELF A FAVOR AND GO FIND WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU NEED ON THIS SITE BECAUSE IT IS AWESOME AND I HAVENT COME DOWN OFF MY LAST ORDER OF CANDY YET AND THE NEXT IS ALREADY IN THE MAIL SOMEBODY HELP ME IM NOT AN ADULT I CANT MAKE THESE DECISIONS
OH MY GOD
The rainbow belts are all over the place but rock candy is almost impossible to find unless you go to a cave with a gift shop..or make it yourself. :)
They’re also at the dollar store. That’s where my grandma got the strawberry candies, and mint leaves, and those butterscotch candies I think you all know of :P
I have to admit though, rock candy is pretty scarce in most places. Unless you go to a cave with a gift shop, as mentioned above :p
This is for all you ladies out there.
the struggle is real
I have a trans man story about this.
Since I’m pre-t I still have my period but since I’m socially out as trans I use men’s bathrooms. One time at the college the family bathroom was taken and so I went into the men’s room to do my business. I tried opening the little pad as quietly as I could manage, but the rustling and ripping sound still happened. I froze in silence because I didn’t know if the other guy in the men’s room heard it or not.
Then after a little bit of silence I hear…
"Who has a bag of chips?"
And in a panic I just whisper back to him “I’m not sharing.”
Then I hear a huff before he finished his business and left.
did that fucker just jump on water is this fucking cat jesus